Contemplative Haven: What Ifs 
What Ifs
What if we desire to do something to serve the Lord, something to give Him glory, and all our efforts in that direction appear to fail? What if, after careful discernment, we have changed our course, radically altering our lives and those of family members, sacrificing time, money and advancement in other areas, only to experience defeat at every turn? What if we come to believe that it was all a dream, or only our imagination, or just our own pride, and not a "still, small voice"?
What if we call to Him in the middle of the night, in the middle of the meeting, in the middle of the diaper change, and there is no answer? What if we cry out to Him, "Lord, have You abandoned me? Lord, have You betrayed me? Lord, are you laughing at me?" Yet with the next breath, in our certainty that He could not do any of those things, we beg Him for explanations - "Lord, I know it was You who led me to do this; why don't You help me, when it is Your work I desire to do?" Silence.
And so, what if the book doesn't publish, the art doesn't sell, the workshops aren't attended, the religious vocation doesn't gel, the theology degree doesn't gain us a position? What then?
What then indeed.
What if we call to Him in the middle of the night, in the middle of the meeting, in the middle of the diaper change, and there is no answer? What if we cry out to Him, "Lord, have You abandoned me? Lord, have You betrayed me? Lord, are you laughing at me?" Yet with the next breath, in our certainty that He could not do any of those things, we beg Him for explanations - "Lord, I know it was You who led me to do this; why don't You help me, when it is Your work I desire to do?" Silence.
And so, what if the book doesn't publish, the art doesn't sell, the workshops aren't attended, the religious vocation doesn't gel, the theology degree doesn't gain us a position? What then?
What then indeed.
posted by Gabrielle at 1:26 AM
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