Contemplative Haven: Exploring Disappointment 
Exploring Disappointment
One of the questions which triggered this little series (see my post, "A Little Outline"), was whether or not people could be disappointed if they desired to be contemplatives and then discovered they were not.
This is a tricky area, and I would welcome other opinions, but I would lean towards saying no, it is not possible in the truest sense. As we saw in the quote in my post, "How Can You Tell", the author of The Cloud of Unknowing states that the gift of contemplation and the aptitude for it are one and the same, that you cannot have one without the other. He also states that one would not even have an awareness of contemplation or a desire for it, unless God had given you that grace and that gift.
But having said that, I believe there are at least a few possibilities as to why people may feel disappointment.
There could be a superficial desire for contemplation, a kind of "intellectual" desire to be a contemplative, rather than a true desire from the heart, out of love for God. I think the corresponding "disappointment" would be equally superficial, and pass fairly quickly as the person moved along to other intellectual pursuits.
There could be a sincere desire to live what one perceives to be a "contemplative life", without truly understanding what a contemplative is. There are people, for example, who enter contemplative orders, drawn to the tranquility, the seclusion, and a life of intercessory prayer. They are then sincerely disappointed when they discover they are not contemplatives. I believe it is to these people St. Teresa of Avila may have been speaking at one point in The Way of Perfection, when she reassures some of the nuns in her community not to be disappointed, but to offer up their work in the convent to the Lord, as their own particular path to God.
There is also the explanation that the disappointment is very real, but entirely unfounded. It is a fact that some people are contemplatives and don't even know it. In The Way of Perfection, St. Teresa spends a good deal of time with one particular nun who thought she did not have the gift of contemplation. St. Teresa watched her in prayer, observed the way she said the Our Father, and was able to reassure this nun that she was, indeed, a contemplative. It is sometimes easier for an experienced contemplative to spot another contemplative than it is for a beginner to know it himself/herself. I remember reading somewhere that the contemplative Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, was able to tell that someone was a contemplative simply by the way the fellow shut a door!
This is a tricky area, and I would welcome other opinions, but I would lean towards saying no, it is not possible in the truest sense. As we saw in the quote in my post, "How Can You Tell", the author of The Cloud of Unknowing states that the gift of contemplation and the aptitude for it are one and the same, that you cannot have one without the other. He also states that one would not even have an awareness of contemplation or a desire for it, unless God had given you that grace and that gift.
But having said that, I believe there are at least a few possibilities as to why people may feel disappointment.
There could be a superficial desire for contemplation, a kind of "intellectual" desire to be a contemplative, rather than a true desire from the heart, out of love for God. I think the corresponding "disappointment" would be equally superficial, and pass fairly quickly as the person moved along to other intellectual pursuits.
There could be a sincere desire to live what one perceives to be a "contemplative life", without truly understanding what a contemplative is. There are people, for example, who enter contemplative orders, drawn to the tranquility, the seclusion, and a life of intercessory prayer. They are then sincerely disappointed when they discover they are not contemplatives. I believe it is to these people St. Teresa of Avila may have been speaking at one point in The Way of Perfection, when she reassures some of the nuns in her community not to be disappointed, but to offer up their work in the convent to the Lord, as their own particular path to God.
There is also the explanation that the disappointment is very real, but entirely unfounded. It is a fact that some people are contemplatives and don't even know it. In The Way of Perfection, St. Teresa spends a good deal of time with one particular nun who thought she did not have the gift of contemplation. St. Teresa watched her in prayer, observed the way she said the Our Father, and was able to reassure this nun that she was, indeed, a contemplative. It is sometimes easier for an experienced contemplative to spot another contemplative than it is for a beginner to know it himself/herself. I remember reading somewhere that the contemplative Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, was able to tell that someone was a contemplative simply by the way the fellow shut a door!
posted by Gabrielle at 9:38 AM
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